I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
