I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
