my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
