I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
