I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
