yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
