we're blogging at a bar
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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