I heard we made out
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
