Three words: puerto rican gang bang
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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