I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
This is the high leading the old right now
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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