Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
