I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
