im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
