is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
