Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You're like the curious george of whores
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
