some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
