you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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