That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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