PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
