I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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