the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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