Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
