Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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