i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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