What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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