omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
