Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
