My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize