pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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