Got a toothbrush?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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