I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I've blown a few things in my day
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
