Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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