hell yes lets make some ravioli
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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