I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
