I'm laying in your front yard are you home
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
