ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
