Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
