That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
