He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
