wanna go halves on a baby?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
