He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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