THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
