Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
