McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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