i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
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