singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
