So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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