I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
