Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
