did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
