At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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